Sunday, February 24, 2008

Valedictorian Speech (excerpt)

This is it: the end. The final breath before the plunge. And as we rest unsteadily at the edge of the quivering board, we must understand what it is we will cherish. We must understand what it is we will take with us into the deep waters that await us below; what it is we will take with us into the future.
We entered Traf five years ago, unsure of ourselves and full of self-doubt. The journey has been long and trying, and this moment, right here, right now, is where it has all brought us. Aristotle once said, “the roots of education are bitter, but the fruit sweet”. Five years later and here we are, enjoying the sweet fruit of our labour.
[. . .]
E. E. Cummings once said, “it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”. This is what we have done, and while we might not remember how to map the Trig Circle, we will always know who it is we are, and how we were transformed by the journey each and every one of us has taken at Traf. This has been the year of laugh fests. Of yearbook editors!, of mildly tormenting the sec one through threes, of “x days ‘till grad!”, of breakdowns, of sleepless nights, of “When It’s Best”, of Math 526, of Common Knowledge Class, of comrades, of Bringing Greatness Back, of o. o. hello!s, of minor insanity.
Our minds are now adorned with memories of good and bad, of our own absurdity and silliness which made Traf so glorious. I can’t remember it all, I can’t remember the details; there is a general feeling, though, which I will always cherish, and as I stand here before you now, I feel an overwhelming sense of pride. I am proud of you, of us, and I am honored to be graduating alongside all of you.
It is time, though, to look towards the future. To open a new book, inhale the scent of its fresh, untouched pages, and begin a new chapter of our lives. My words of wisdom? To quote Robert Byrne, “the purpose of life is a life of purpose”. Love what you do, do what you love, and don’t get caught up in the madness.
What saddens me most is the knowledge that bonds may be severed, that we may slip into our futures, forgetting that which we cherish today.
And so I plead with you, remember. Remember your teachers, for they had a far larger role to play in your coming of age than you may realize.
And remember your classmates, for you are a reflection of them.
Go, now. Go, pursue your dreams, laugh, love, cry, win, lose, live.
This is it: the beginning.

je t'aime...


BeautifulSam said this to me once.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Dissolving

The end is coming. He is coming, I know it. I can feel Him. He is in the crippling cold, the gnawing, constant pain. I am so worn out. I am so tired, I’m tired of doing this – of seeing this, every day. The blank walls scream at me in colourless agony. The food – the jiggling Jello – mocks me; I have been reduced to a state of infancy. The scent is one of sterilization, of illness, of old age, of stale bodies.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes again, resting, listening. The nurses beyond my door exchange tales of flirtation and indulgence. It is strange to think that Life will carry on without me – and what has been my part in it?

Suzie’s in the corner, her face pulled awkwardly against the hand that supports it. She is sleeping, her hair falls across her youthful face. I rub the side of my own and try to relive the memory of youth. This body is foreign to me. It is frail and breaking. I want to sleep. I want to sleep again, to feel that blissful calm take over… I close my eyes.

A stabbing in my chest brings me back. I am scared, I cannot breathe – I can not. I try, I gasp and gulp at nothingness. I am suffocating. Suzie is at the bed, she yells to the hallway. I can’t make out her call. I stare with wide eyes, yet see only darkness. I am lost, pulled deeper. He has me. I thrash and pull and reach for the surface, but it is distant, it is nowhere – gone. Panic takes over – but then, an iridescent peace…

Through the darkness, she appears, bright, and young, and beautiful. I feel a sort of helplessness as I approach her, overwhelmed by her, weak with joy and disbelief. She is here! She is back!

I can feel life as I know it end the moment I reach her, and take her in my hands. She folds into me, becoming a part of me again. I embrace her wholly as I inhale the scent of her perfume.
I pull back from her. We are young again, young and whole, lively and joyful. She smiles at me – the very kindest smile. She’s so beautiful it hurts, and she glistens now, and glows, and sparkles, as never before. She smiles at me, and holds my neck, lightly tracing my hairline with her delicate fingertips.

I can feel it all. I can feel our shared life – every moment of it, every breath. Things I had forgotten long ago now come rushing back to me. I had forgotten the beauty of her eyelashes, the softness of her touch, the smoothness and warmth of her skin. She is breathtaking – I can see Time in her eyes. She intertwines her fingers in mine, kisses me, and, as though slipping into a lovely dream, I feel us dissolve into eternity.


patrick.